fear and trembling
I have to admit something: I am pretty scared of health professionals in hospital childbirthing practices. I realize this every time we go to a prenatal appointment. I always seem to offend our midwife (or so I imagine) by making snarky comments about Kaiser, our evil health care provider or bringing up things like how I am convinced that the doctors are going to get me and make me have a c-section.
Maybe this fear is unjustified. But there are at least three of you who are reading this who had babies this year and were induced and/or brought in for emergency c-section. There are three more of you who were scared into considering one of these procedures, told that “everyone takes painkillers” or that “if this baby doesn’t come out right now we’re going to operate.”
I know, I know. In the end you just want a healthy baby. But I also don’t want to be detached from my labor or to see my baby from one side of a curtain as she’s whisked away to post-op. And I don’t think those things need to be mutually exclusive. Safety and whole birth should be able to happen together somewhere.
Unfortunately that somewhere may be my living room, my bed, a birthing center or a bathtub and The Kaiser God has spaken no to that possibility. The tough part is the letting go without feeling like you’re giving in. It’s a tough balance and one I’m not sure how to walk gracefully.
I’m trying to do everything I can to make sure that this baby comes out like God intended - with as little medical intervention as possible. We’re trying our best to aid that process. I’ll be sitting on an exercise ball for the last two months to line up the baby. We have our acupuncturist on call to help with induction. I’m ready to walk up and down Mt Tabor until I fall over. I’m also trying to read a lot of positive birth stories, go to prenatal yoga class regularly, strengthen my pelvic floor muscles and above all remember that this is what my body was created to do. But still, I have no idea what will happen.
In light of my frequently bad prenatal experiences I was ever so grateful to find that Erica (birth #2 impending) has written something about her last week of waiting. I hope I will come to the same calm resolution sometime in the next three months….
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Melissa, have you watched the movie “the business of being born”? I just did a blog post about it. It’s really powerful and inspiring. I know lots of powerful and amazing mamas who’ve had whole, empowering, normal, healthy hospital births, so yes, it is possible! Blessings!
Seriously, seriously, seriously, look into homebirth. Follow your intuition, don’t go the medical route. I am both an RN working in mother/baby in the hospital and also an apprentice to a certified professional midwife group (homebirth). If nothing else, go and have a few free consultations with homebirth midwives. Oregon is one of the best places in the States to have a midwife-attended homebirth. It’s true you might have to pay her cash, but it will be the best money you ever ever ever spent. K-P honestly gives bad coverage/care anyway and kicks people out of the hospital ASAP (24H for a vaginal, and 48 for a C/S). If you go the medical route, find a nurse-midwife and ask her what her C/S and induction rate is. It’s never too late to switch care providers.
I know I sound pushy, and I apologize for that. But I can’t even count how many families I take care of who were completely raped of their birth in the hospital.
Not to sound cheesy, but when it all comes down to it, you can’t control your birth experience even though I know that thought scares both of us. You can set it up to be a positive whole birth experience by hiring a doula and midwife (like you have), but in the end let me encourage you with this…
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.
Caren - We did see it! Fortunately we knew someone who had netflix. It was great to see but a little discouraging because homebirth is definitely not available to us. Speaking of….
OFOJ - We would LOVE to have a homebirth. We were actually joking about registering for one : ) But KP doesn’t allow and we’re looking at $3000+ out of pocket. We’ve done what we can to make the best of our situation. We aren’t giving birth at a KP facility but one of their private affiliates (they have too many births for their hospitals). And Southwest Medical has a midwife on call 24 hours a day so we will avoid an OB. Unfortunately we will have no idea which midwife that will be. We’re also planning on hiring a doula to help us with the process. If we could break the bank for this one we could. But it’s just not realistic for us at this point. We have quite seriously discussed unassisted homebirth if my labor comes really fast….
Carla - Thanks for the reminder. It isn’t cheesy. It’s the truth.
Some [unsolicited] Tips:
1. Have a super high protein, low carb diet.
2. Know your Group B strep status (test at ~35 wks). If you’re positive, no vag exam until you feel you are ready to push (this is during labor).
3. Refuse all internal exams in the office as there is no info to be gained if you’re not in active labor and they will just mess with your body and not tell you.
4. Do not be induced unless you are over 42 weeks gestation. After 40 wks if they want to induce you, do Kick Counts and Non-stress tests to know how well your baby is being supplied by the placenta. Keep in mind the average first-time mom carries her baby for 41 weeks.
5. In labor, try to stay at home and relax as much as possible, when you are starting to not talk between contraction, it’s time to go.
6. Do your best to avoid an epidural and Pitocin. Right when feel that you can’t take it anymore, you’ve made it to the end!
7. DO NOT LET THEM BREAK YOUR WATER unless you are at least 7-10 cm dilated. (Once your waters have broken, you’re on a time clock.)
8. If you waters break before you go into labor, relax. Don’t let anything into your birth canal; walk; do nipple stimulation. Take your temperature every 4 hours and watch for a low-grade fever. Refer to point #5.
This is going to seem strange at first. Basically the medical system does not like anything that challenges its ways. So make sure that you seem non-opinionated about your birth in the hospital. Be like, “I still just want to wait on the epidural and pitocin for right now. Thanks of your help!” To tell you the behind-the-scenes dialogue, they say that anyone with a birth plan and a doula is an automatic C/S. I don’t know if this is the case because they C/S women out of spite, or if it’s because the women feel unsupported to the extent they can’t relax and focus on having a baby.
Once you get to the pushing stage, they like to really hurry that along. So do your best to politely say “I know it’s been two hours, but I am confident I can get the baby out, so let’s just wait a little while longer on the vacuum or forceps. Thanks!”
So the gist of having a successful hospital birth is relaxing yourself and calmly and very politely declining unnecessary medical interventions.
Yall are going to be great partners in birth and parenting, enjoy every moment!