It’s been a wild two weeks around these parts. Old Scout came down with her first sickness last Monday and has been in steady infectious mode ever since. Snot is flowing, coughs are hacking, ears (both) are infected.
Probably not the best time to start a new sleep arrangement, yet I attempted.
My inspiration came on several fronts. First, we are taking the baby to Ireland in August (yes, we know this could be a huge mistake). While co-sleeping is great in our very controlled, double-mattress home environment, we can’t risk putting T in a harmful sleep situation. Second, T is over 20 lbs and 29 in tall, a little much for me to be carting around to put to sleep every night. And every nap. And sometimes in the middle of the night. Third, I was bolstered (egged on?) by our new pediatrician. “You know,” she says, “she knows exactly what she’s doing.”
What is she doing, you may ask? Nothing horrible, just unable to go to sleep on her own. Ever. This is nothing new. Old T-Bop has always been high maintenance when it comes to sleep. It is for this reason that c0-sleeping has worked great. To this day, except when teething or growth spurting, babe sleeps through the night next to me. She takes two, 1-2 hour naps a day. But she won’t stay in bed alone for more than hour past her 7 pm bedtime. She always needs help getting into the second hour of her nap. No self soothing is happening.
Our other big problem is roaming. When she was swaddled or immobile Scout would simply lie there. We could pat her or I could nurse her back to sleep. Now that she’s on the move, her curiosity takes over. She can be so tired that she’s about to crack but the allure of the bookshelf, the paint on the wall, the blanket, the closet is too much. And she’s off.
I’m not entirely sure where we go from here. We’ve taken the first step and bought our first crib. We also did our first crying in the crib session (like I said, not so wise when ill). I was there the whole time, in sight but not interacting. Baby literally fell asleep standing at the rail, refusing to lie down. Eventually, 20 minutes later, she buckled and sat for another 20 minutes nodding off and then perking back up. She never laid down on her own. Eventually I took her out and rocked her to sleep and put her back in. She slept for 40 whimpering minutes and our day was basically in ruins.
Jake and I are going to talk over our plan but we both feel stuck. T isn’t a tiny baby anymore. But she is a baby. We believe that her cries are signs of distress that need a response – but not all the time. We know she needs to be safe when she sleeps, but how do we transition into new sleeping patterns without me losing my mind? It’s even harder to do this when everything is going so well! She sleeps 10 hours a night without waking! She takes long naps! She’s well rested! It stinks to mess with (relative success). But we know some things have to change.





5 comments
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June 5, 2009 at 8:48 pm
emilykristin
Thanks for sharing all this. I learn a lot from your experience that I tuck away for the future. What will you do with her sleepwise in Ireland – will there be a crib for you there? What worries you about cosleeping away from home? (just curious, as there’s so much about life with babies that I don’t consider, b/c I’ve never had to. I appreciate how intentional you and Jake are, intentional but flexible, not perfectionists – it’s good.
June 6, 2009 at 12:31 am
signonthewindow
Hey Emily. The main issue is the elevated bed, one that we don’t know we will be able to push against a wall. Right now we sleep on the floor on two mattresses. The room is completely baby proof. Since T is mobile we need to know that if she gets up on her own nothing will happen to her (chords, curtains, electrical outlets, things she could pull down). She needs her own space to nap in and that means a crib. The b&bs we’re staying at all have cribs (“cots” as they say). We’re still going to sleep as a family at night here in the US.
June 5, 2009 at 10:59 pm
Rebecca
I hesitate to offer any baby sleep advice because Chloe seems to be a pretty easy-going baby, so we haven’t had to deal with too much in the way of sleep trouble (so far!). Chloe still sleeps in a bassinet in our room at night, but during the day she naps in her crib in her room. I realized earlier on that at some point she will be too big for the bassinet and she’ll have to sleep at night in her crib. So I wanted to start teaching her that the crib was a safe place to sleep. What I started with was putting her in the crib if she fell asleep in my arms, and then letter her wake up in the crib so that she would recognize it as a sleeping place . Now when she starts showing sleepy signs (eye rubbing, yawning) I put her down in her crib and give her her pacifier and she usually falls asleep. If she starts to fuss, I wait 5 minutes before I go back in. I usually just rub her tummy a little, give her the pacifier back, tell her she’s tired and needs to nap and we’ll play when she wakes up, and that I love her and I’m always near by. Then I walk away again and she goes to sleep. But, like I said, she seems to be a pretty easy baby, so I don’t know how much you can relate to any of this, if at all.
As you’re establishing a new sleep routine, the best advice I can think of is to be consistent. I’ve read in a couple books that it takes about 3-7 days to establish new patterns, although I haven’t had too much experience with that yet.
You mentioned a while back that you were reading The No-Cry Sleep Solution. Has that been helpful? I’ve been reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and I thinks its a great book.
Good luck with all of this. During the rough moments, remember this too will pass. Getting her to sleep on her own won’t be a challenge forever, she will learn to sleep on her own! And she knows that you love her, even when she’s crying and frustrated and upset. You’re a good mama and you’re doing a great job!
June 10, 2009 at 1:31 am
emilykristin
wow! so much to consider. way to think ahead.
June 12, 2009 at 6:02 am
Halden
If I may, I didn’t mean to bump you. When I got my own domain, I had to re-do my links and a few got missed.